CAN MASTURBATING BE AN EXTREME SPORT?

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Porn scenes starring Hana Haruna... Paulina Gaitan naked in Narcos... and blowjob by pretty Latin girl.



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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL322

oscar, david
A recent study published in Sexes makes it clear: women who masturbate frequently not only reach orgasm more easily, but also enjoy sex more overall. The reason is simple — practice makes perfect.

Masturbation isn’t just about having a good time; it’s a powerful tool for self-awareness. Knowing what you like and how you like it makes a huge difference when you're with someone else. If you don’t know how to push your own buttons, how do you expect someone else to find them?
Plus, taking the time to explore your body without pressure or expectations helps break down mental blocks and builds sexual confidence — which makes orgasms way more accessible.

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That logo change? Totally necessary if you ask me.






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RESTORING ORDER AND HARMONY IN THE UNIVERSE

eas, javi, julio, luis, lucas, walter, david
In Japanese mythology, legend has it that the sun goddess Amaterasu, upset by her brother’s constant pranks, hid herself away in a cave, plunging the world into darkness. To lure her out, the other gods threw a wild party right at the cave's entrance. In the middle of the celebration, the goddess Ame-no-Uzume began to dance provocatively and, according to some versions of the story, even masturbated in front of the cave. The bizarre and outrageous display caught Amaterasu’s curiosity, and she eventually stepped out—bringing light back to the world.

This myth shows how, in some ancient cultures, masturbation wasn’t just seen as natural—it was powerful enough to restore balance and harmony to the universe.



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The new neighbor. The one your wife can’t stand.

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NORMALIZING MASTURBATION SINCE 2003

smm, walter, david, vikingo
Fun fact of the day: African ground squirrels, like the Xerus inauris, masturbate after mating to clean their urethra and reduce the risk of urinary infections.



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Same Energy.

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THE MIRROR IS A DAMN LIAR

luzos, oscar, walter, david
The classic Snow White tale revolves around a magic mirror that always tells the truth about who's the fairest of them all. But now, with the new version starring Rachel Zegler as Snow White and Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen, everything goes straight to hell. Why? Because the mirror dares to claim Rachel is hotter than Gal—which literally no one believes. If there's one thing all guys worldwide agree on, it's that Gal Gadot is easily a thousand times sexier than Rachel Zegler.



So, how the hell does this happen? Here’s where the supposed philosophical symbolism kicks in: the mirror doesn't just measure physical beauty; it also values purity, goodness, and inner beauty. According to that logic, Rachel comes out ahead because she's supposedly got something Gal Gadot lacks in the film: a nobler, less envy-corrupted soul.

Bullshit! If Rachel Zegler has proven anything in recent months, it’s precisely how toxic, arrogant, and poisoned by cheap feminism her soul really is—oozing pretentiousness and superiority from every pore of her body.

The ideological trainwreck Disney has become in recent years finally hit rock bottom by casting someone like her to reboot one of the iconic stories from our childhood.

Therefore, I'm officially revoking all magical powers from that mirror, demoting it on behalf of the patriarchy, and hereby relegating its sole purpose to reflecting and holding suction cups.



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¡Que te jodan, Mickey Mouse!

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NOW YOU CAN START

jimmy, walter, ruben, david, sosuke
The day doesn’t start when the sun rises. The day starts when we share our first jerk-off post on ALRNCN.



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Someone should tell her that you’re not supposed to introduce fruit into his diet before four months.

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MASTURBATE. DO IT FOR YOUR HEALTH

walter, david
Back in 1994, a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association explored the link between masturbation and urinary tract infection prevention in women. The result? Women who masturbated regularly had fewer UTIs. Why? Because masturbation stimulates the release of cervical fluids, which helps flush out bacteria and keeps the urinary tract clean.



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Oops! I'm such a klutz!

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