DON'T RUIN THE UPHOLSTERY

walter, david
Masturbating in the car and not putting a towel on the seat is like getting home from the street and throwing yourself on the couch with your shoes on. Where are mothers' heels supposed to be when they are needed?

These others are a gift.

➡️ Let's do real, be real with Tantaly, the sex doll torso leader

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The Fishing Store

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RESTORING ORDER AND HARMONY IN THE UNIVERSE

eas, javi, julio, luis, lucas, walter, david
In Japanese mythology, legend has it that the sun goddess Amaterasu, upset by her brother’s constant pranks, hid herself away in a cave, plunging the world into darkness. To lure her out, the other gods threw a wild party right at the cave's entrance. In the middle of the celebration, the goddess Ame-no-Uzume began to dance provocatively and, according to some versions of the story, even masturbated in front of the cave. The bizarre and outrageous display caught Amaterasu’s curiosity, and she eventually stepped out—bringing light back to the world.

This myth shows how, in some ancient cultures, masturbation wasn’t just seen as natural—it was powerful enough to restore balance and harmony to the universe.



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The new neighbor. The one your wife can’t stand.

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WE'RE READY!

david
Engines are on, machines warmed up, and everything is set to kick off another week packed with amazing content. We're heading into intense, fun, and spicy days, bringing you fresh material to brighten every moment.



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Cassava root.

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THE MIRROR IS A DAMN LIAR

luzos, oscar, walter, david
The classic Snow White tale revolves around a magic mirror that always tells the truth about who's the fairest of them all. But now, with the new version starring Rachel Zegler as Snow White and Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen, everything goes straight to hell. Why? Because the mirror dares to claim Rachel is hotter than Gal—which literally no one believes. If there's one thing all guys worldwide agree on, it's that Gal Gadot is easily a thousand times sexier than Rachel Zegler.



So, how the hell does this happen? Here’s where the supposed philosophical symbolism kicks in: the mirror doesn't just measure physical beauty; it also values purity, goodness, and inner beauty. According to that logic, Rachel comes out ahead because she's supposedly got something Gal Gadot lacks in the film: a nobler, less envy-corrupted soul.

Bullshit! If Rachel Zegler has proven anything in recent months, it’s precisely how toxic, arrogant, and poisoned by cheap feminism her soul really is—oozing pretentiousness and superiority from every pore of her body.

The ideological trainwreck Disney has become in recent years finally hit rock bottom by casting someone like her to reboot one of the iconic stories from our childhood.

Therefore, I'm officially revoking all magical powers from that mirror, demoting it on behalf of the patriarchy, and hereby relegating its sole purpose to reflecting and holding suction cups.



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¡Que te jodan, Mickey Mouse!

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IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY...

The princess has spent far too long behind golden walls. They taught her how to obey, how to represent, how to exist—but never how to live. As the stars burn above her world and the Empire tightens its grip, she no longer dreams of peace or power. She dreams of freedom.

War threatens to wipe out the bloodline that has ruled her planet for generations. Tensions rise, restrictions grow harsher, and all signs point to a dead end. But the princess refuses to let her fate be written for her. One night, with nothing but her will, she slips away aboard a merchant ship.
They catch her. The Empire moves fast. But what looks like the end of her story… turns out to be the beginning.

Far from the palace, far from duty, far from everything expected of her, the princess discovers another kind of life. A life that’s intense. Forbidden. Stolen.

And for the first time ever… it’s hers.



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One day, you’ll run into them—in a shop, in a mall, or down the aisle of some random supermarket. Trust me. It’s just a matter of time.

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SUCTION CUPS: BEYOND INDUSTRIAL USE

walter, david
A suction cup is a device that uses suction to adhere to smooth, non-porous surfaces by creating a pressure difference between its interior and the surrounding environment. In industrial applications, it is used in handling and automation systems to grip, move, or position objects without mechanical clamps. It plays a key role in robotics, production lines, packaging, and assembly, making it easier to handle materials such as glass, metal, plastic, and cardboard. It is also widely used in the automotive industry to lift delicate parts and in construction for installing large glass panels and cladding.



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That’s what I call a perfect landing.

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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL321

oscar, david
Back in 2009, a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that female masturbation could actually help relieve headaches.
What’s interesting is that many women in the study didn’t avoid sex or masturbation when they had migraines—they actively sought out orgasm to ease the pain. Turns out, the endorphins released during climax work as natural painkillers.

So next time you hear the classic “not tonight, I’ve got a headache,” remember—it might actually be the perfect reason to go for it. And if anyone asks, just say you read it on ALRNCN.

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Craving summer already!

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