THE FRUIT OF LOVE

walter:
Bananas are rich in vitamins B6 and C, folic acid and minerals like magnesium and potassium... It's ideal to help us regain strength and wonderful when it comes to insert it in your vagina and reach Nirvana!

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Paige, a very elegant MILF... A shower with Luciana... Salma Hayek spied in her bedroom.



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THE MIRROR IS A DAMN LIAR

luzos, oscar, walter, david
The classic Snow White tale revolves around a magic mirror that always tells the truth about who's the fairest of them all. But now, with the new version starring Rachel Zegler as Snow White and Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen, everything goes straight to hell. Why? Because the mirror dares to claim Rachel is hotter than Gal—which literally no one believes. If there's one thing all guys worldwide agree on, it's that Gal Gadot is easily a thousand times sexier than Rachel Zegler.



So, how the hell does this happen? Here’s where the supposed philosophical symbolism kicks in: the mirror doesn't just measure physical beauty; it also values purity, goodness, and inner beauty. According to that logic, Rachel comes out ahead because she's supposedly got something Gal Gadot lacks in the film: a nobler, less envy-corrupted soul.

Bullshit! If Rachel Zegler has proven anything in recent months, it’s precisely how toxic, arrogant, and poisoned by cheap feminism her soul really is—oozing pretentiousness and superiority from every pore of her body.

The ideological trainwreck Disney has become in recent years finally hit rock bottom by casting someone like her to reboot one of the iconic stories from our childhood.

Therefore, I'm officially revoking all magical powers from that mirror, demoting it on behalf of the patriarchy, and hereby relegating its sole purpose to reflecting and holding suction cups.



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¡Que te jodan, Mickey Mouse!

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THE FIRST WIRELESS VIBRATORS

david
While electric vibrators had existed since the late 19th century, for decades, they were large, noisy, and required a power outlet, making them anything but discreet or convenient. That all changed in the 1960s with advancements in rechargeable battery technology and portable devices. This innovation led to the first wireless vibrators, eliminating the need for cords and making them far more practical and accessible. Since then, the technology has continued to evolve. Today, vibrators feature ergonomic designs, whisper-quiet motors, and even app connectivity for personalized experiences. But it all started with that first wireless model, marking the beginning of a new era in female sexuality.



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Before | After

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PROMOTING THE READING HABIT

david
We need to do everything we can to boost book sales. A well-read country is a wiser and more cultured one. Everyone should contribute in their own way. Here’s my small part.



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Good morning!

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NOW YOU CAN START

jimmy, walter, ruben, david, sosuke
The day doesn’t start when the sun rises. The day starts when we share our first jerk-off post on ALRNCN.



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Someone should tell her that you’re not supposed to introduce fruit into his diet before four months.

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THE GREATEST INVENTIONS: SUCTION CUPS

david
Can you imagine the face of the man who invented the suction cup, now realizing how people attach them to rubber cocks for women to masturbate? Do you think he would be upset or perhaps proud?



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Drink, drink, drink!

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NORTHERN AND SOUTHERN MASTURBATION

Same year, same month, same day, same exact time—but opposite hemispheres.
Because our planet tilts about 23.5 degrees on its axis, these two girls are touching themselves simultaneously but in completely different seasons. While one explores her body surrounded by snow and sub-zero temperatures, on the other side of the world, the other enjoys a hot beach day, feeling the summer breeze and warm sun on her skin.

And that concludes today's rather unique Natural Science lesson.



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Party Night.

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