DON'T LET INEQUALITIES STOP YOU FROM REACHING YOUR DREAM
The world is full of inequalities, but don't get confused, just because you don't compete on equal terms doesn't mean you can't reach the finish line. It may cost you more than others, you may have more obstacles along the way, but with effort and wit, you will be able to achieve your goal. At least nobody will take away from you the illusion of trying.
And what does this shitty speech have to do with some masturbation videos? Watch it till the end and you will understand.
Moral of a fable: Just because you don't have a place to stick your suction cup doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself like everyone else.
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ExtraBall by perritopiloto
When you wanted to go to Coachella but you have to settle for something closer.
THE PURITY GURUSfaisan, david
They say that if you jerk off:
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You lose strength.
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You lose confidence.
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You lose self-control.
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You can’t focus.
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You don’t succeed.
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You don’t get laid.
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You don’t sleep.
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You don’t hustle.
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Your toast burns.
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The milk boils over in the microwave.
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Your grandma cries and doesn’t even know why.
And it’s all because of jerking off.
According to some testosterone gurus, masturbation is basically a betrayal of your destiny to be great. Every time you touch yourself, Elon Musk gets richer and you get poorer. Every solo orgasm is a step further from success.
And there you are, staring at your hand, thinking all you were doing was releasing some tension, sleeping better, and avoiding the shame of sending voice notes to your ex or your crush. But nope, turns out you’re ruining your life.
Luckily, science has been saying the opposite for years: that jerking off reduces stress, helps you sleep, makes you more aware of your body, and doesn’t turn you into a weakling—it just makes you more chill and functional. But of course, that doesn’t sell self-help books or “Alpha Male 7.0” courses.
So yeah, if one day your milk overflows in the microwave, don’t blame it on jerking off. Blame it on not watching the damn thing.
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Pouty lips.
THE MIRROR IS A DAMN LIARluzos, oscar, walter, david
The classic Snow White tale revolves around a magic mirror that always tells the truth about who's the fairest of them all. But now, with the new version starring Rachel Zegler as Snow White and Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen, everything goes straight to hell. Why? Because the mirror dares to claim Rachel is hotter than Gal—which literally no one believes. If there's one thing all guys worldwide agree on, it's that Gal Gadot is easily a thousand times sexier than Rachel Zegler.
So, how the hell does this happen? Here’s where the supposed philosophical symbolism kicks in: the mirror doesn't just measure physical beauty; it also values purity, goodness, and inner beauty. According to that logic, Rachel comes out ahead because she's supposedly got something Gal Gadot lacks in the film: a nobler, less envy-corrupted soul.
Bullshit! If Rachel Zegler has proven anything in recent months, it’s precisely how toxic, arrogant, and poisoned by cheap feminism her soul really is—oozing pretentiousness and superiority from every pore of her body.
The ideological trainwreck Disney has become in recent years finally hit rock bottom by casting someone like her to reboot one of the iconic stories from our childhood.
Therefore, I'm officially revoking all magical powers from that mirror, demoting it on behalf of the patriarchy, and hereby relegating its sole purpose to reflecting and holding suction cups.
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¡Que te jodan, Mickey Mouse!
ENGINES READY, ATTITUDE SETluzos, walter, david
We’re firing up the engines to start the week at full throttle. We all know Mondays can feel heavier, but it's time to suck it up, get motivated, and push through—otherwise, the week turns into an uphill battle.
So come on, shake off that sleep, because the sooner we get moving, the sooner Friday will roll around again.
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- Today I dreamed someone tried to steal my phone.
- So, what happened?
- No idea. It was all super weird.
SHOW OFF AN ELEGANT, SPARKLY, AND SOPHISTICATED BOOTYInstead of getting anal bleaching and dropping serious cash just to end up itchy, irritated, and uncomfortable in some cold clinic, why not go straight for glamour? Treat yourself to a gorgeous butt plug decorated with a gemstone (or at least something that looks like one), and show off an elegant, sparkly, and sophisticated booty.
Forget the pain and embrace the pleasure: while you enjoy the delightful sensations this intimate jewel offers, your partner gets to admire a true work of art. After all, nobody ever said luxury couldn't be enjoyed from behind.
So, now you know: less bleaching, more shining. ✨
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Youth these days!
MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL320david
Friday’s finally here, bringing with it that unbeatable feeling that you've conquered another week. It doesn’t matter if the past few days were rough or if work threw a mountain of problems your way—when Friday rolls around, life instantly tastes sweeter. It's officially time to stash your responsibilities in a drawer and bring out the most carefree version of yourself.
Friday arrives to remind you that you deserve those cold beers after work, a spontaneous getaway, or simply doing absolutely nothing beyond collapsing on the couch.
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The dog just can't take its eyes off her.