DOPAMINE IS BEHIND ALL YOUR WANKS

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Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that plays a crucial role in the sensation of pleasure and reward in the brain. Its function is to motivate people to engage in activities that are essential for survival and well-being, such as eating, drinking water, and reproducing. When we perform these activities, the brain releases dopamine, making us feel good and reinforcing the behavior.




Dopamine is addictive in the sense that the brain continually seeks experiences that provide that feeling of pleasure and reward. When we engage in pleasurable activities like eating tasty food, exercising, or having sexual intercourse, the brain releases dopamine, which reinforces the likelihood that we will continue to engage in those activities. This mechanism is essential for the survival of the species and the pursuit of natural rewards.

For eating, drinking, and exercising, you don't need anyone else, but for reproduction, you can't do it alone. You depend on someone else, or rather, to have sex. That's why we turn to masturbation because your body craves its dopamine fix, especially when you can't cook, and as for running, you only do it when you're fleeing from a fire.

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Satan, is that you?

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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL320

david
Friday’s finally here, bringing with it that unbeatable feeling that you've conquered another week. It doesn’t matter if the past few days were rough or if work threw a mountain of problems your way—when Friday rolls around, life instantly tastes sweeter. It's officially time to stash your responsibilities in a drawer and bring out the most carefree version of yourself.
Friday arrives to remind you that you deserve those cold beers after work, a spontaneous getaway, or simply doing absolutely nothing beyond collapsing on the couch.

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The dog just can't take its eyes off her.

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LIFE’S PRETTY DAMN GREAT

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Sometimes all it takes is sticking a suction cup to the floor to realize life’s actually pretty amazing.



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No man can resist.

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MELANCHOLY MASTURBATION

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Back in 2021, a study published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy found that many people turn to masturbation not just for physical pleasure, but as a form of emotional self-care. Some participants said they did it to calm their anxiety, feel less alone, or reconnect with themselves during times of stress, sadness, or isolation. It’s not always about pleasure—it can also be about comfort and emotional regulation.

Melancholy masturbation. Self-love to lift the mood.



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Being the director of Human Resources isn’t exactly a walk in the park. Way too much pressure. Giving bad news, dealing with raise requests, filling vacant positions, climbing the corporate ladder…

Full scene

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THE MIRROR IS A DAMN LIAR

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The classic Snow White tale revolves around a magic mirror that always tells the truth about who's the fairest of them all. But now, with the new version starring Rachel Zegler as Snow White and Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen, everything goes straight to hell. Why? Because the mirror dares to claim Rachel is hotter than Gal—which literally no one believes. If there's one thing all guys worldwide agree on, it's that Gal Gadot is easily a thousand times sexier than Rachel Zegler.



So, how the hell does this happen? Here’s where the supposed philosophical symbolism kicks in: the mirror doesn't just measure physical beauty; it also values purity, goodness, and inner beauty. According to that logic, Rachel comes out ahead because she's supposedly got something Gal Gadot lacks in the film: a nobler, less envy-corrupted soul.

Bullshit! If Rachel Zegler has proven anything in recent months, it’s precisely how toxic, arrogant, and poisoned by cheap feminism her soul really is—oozing pretentiousness and superiority from every pore of her body.

The ideological trainwreck Disney has become in recent years finally hit rock bottom by casting someone like her to reboot one of the iconic stories from our childhood.

Therefore, I'm officially revoking all magical powers from that mirror, demoting it on behalf of the patriarchy, and hereby relegating its sole purpose to reflecting and holding suction cups.



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¡Que te jodan, Mickey Mouse!

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NORTHERN AND SOUTHERN MASTURBATION

Same year, same month, same day, same exact time—but opposite hemispheres.
Because our planet tilts about 23.5 degrees on its axis, these two girls are touching themselves simultaneously but in completely different seasons. While one explores her body surrounded by snow and sub-zero temperatures, on the other side of the world, the other enjoys a hot beach day, feeling the summer breeze and warm sun on her skin.

And that concludes today's rather unique Natural Science lesson.



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Party Night.

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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL324

Back in 1994, Dr. Joycelyn Elders—an American physician and sexologist who became the first African American woman to serve as U.S. Surgeon General—sparked major controversy by suggesting that masturbation is a natural part of human sexuality and should be mentioned in sex education for young people.
Her comments stirred up a national debate and eventually led to her being forced out of her position by President Bill Clinton.

That incident shows how, even just 30 years ago, masturbation was still a taboo subject for a lot of people—and how attitudes toward it could shape public policy and education.

Has anything changed since then? I'd say hell yes.

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I'm just tired.






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