I CAN'T STOP MASTURBATING

david
You're getting out of the shower, you dry your hair, you take off your bathrobe and since you are so hot, you get horny looking at yourself in the mirror and you have no choice but to masturbate again. I feel you my friend.

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Tip of the day.

➡️ Let's do real, be real with Tantaly, the sex doll torso leader

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NORMALIZING MASTURBATION SINCE 2003

smm, walter, david, vikingo
Fun fact of the day: African ground squirrels, like the Xerus inauris, masturbate after mating to clean their urethra and reduce the risk of urinary infections.



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Same Energy.

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THE MIRROR IS A DAMN LIAR

luzos, oscar, walter, david
The classic Snow White tale revolves around a magic mirror that always tells the truth about who's the fairest of them all. But now, with the new version starring Rachel Zegler as Snow White and Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen, everything goes straight to hell. Why? Because the mirror dares to claim Rachel is hotter than Gal—which literally no one believes. If there's one thing all guys worldwide agree on, it's that Gal Gadot is easily a thousand times sexier than Rachel Zegler.



So, how the hell does this happen? Here’s where the supposed philosophical symbolism kicks in: the mirror doesn't just measure physical beauty; it also values purity, goodness, and inner beauty. According to that logic, Rachel comes out ahead because she's supposedly got something Gal Gadot lacks in the film: a nobler, less envy-corrupted soul.

Bullshit! If Rachel Zegler has proven anything in recent months, it’s precisely how toxic, arrogant, and poisoned by cheap feminism her soul really is—oozing pretentiousness and superiority from every pore of her body.

The ideological trainwreck Disney has become in recent years finally hit rock bottom by casting someone like her to reboot one of the iconic stories from our childhood.

Therefore, I'm officially revoking all magical powers from that mirror, demoting it on behalf of the patriarchy, and hereby relegating its sole purpose to reflecting and holding suction cups.



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¡Que te jodan, Mickey Mouse!

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YOU’LL BE WATCHING AI-GENERATED CONTENT WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING IT

A lot of people claim they’re against AI-generated porn. They see it as fake, cold, and soulless—like desire needs some kind of “authenticity certificate” to feel real. But the truth is, we’re this close to a point where none of that will matter. The level of realism that’s coming is so insane that neither you, nor me, nor anyone else will be able to tell if that woman on screen is made of flesh and blood… or pure code.

And we’re not just talking about polished, studio-level productions. Even the so-called amateur stuff is getting in on the game. That homemade vibe—the shaky camera, the phone in hand, the casual lighting—all of it can be faked. And it will be faked. Just like a forged painting crafted by a master—most people won’t notice the difference. That’s where porn is headed. The human eye just won’t be enough anymore.



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ExtraBall by walter
Dying to squeeze them.

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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL321

oscar, david
Back in 2009, a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that female masturbation could actually help relieve headaches.
What’s interesting is that many women in the study didn’t avoid sex or masturbation when they had migraines—they actively sought out orgasm to ease the pain. Turns out, the endorphins released during climax work as natural painkillers.

So next time you hear the classic “not tonight, I’ve got a headache,” remember—it might actually be the perfect reason to go for it. And if anyone asks, just say you read it on ALRNCN.

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Craving summer already!

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FROM LEATHER TO SOLID GOLD: THE STORY OF THE OLISBO

javi, smm, walter, david
Long before sex toys looked anything like what we know today, women in Ancient Greece already knew how to handle things on their own. Olisbos—phallus-shaped objects made of leather, wood, ceramic, or even bread—were loyal companions when husbands went off to war. Far from being taboo, these early dildos were part of everyday life in cultures like the Greek, Roman, Egyptian, and even Chinese, often paired with simple (and effective) lubricants like olive oil.

Throughout history, the olisbo didn’t just stick around—it evolved. It showed up in plays, scandalous poems, erotic Japanese novels, and even in the private collections of European royalty. From the sex strike in Lysistrata to tortoiseshell dildos in Japan and Queen Isabella’s legendary solid gold toy, it's clear that female pleasure has always sparked creativity.

Funny how many people still think female sexual desire is some modern revelation, thanks to feminism and sexual liberation. The truth is, women have always enjoyed sex—and there were times, like in classical Greece, when they were even more sexually free than today. It’s just that, like so many things, it got buried. But history? If you dig a little, it always has something juicy to say.



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When you're the odd one out but still want to feel useful.

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ENGINES READY, ATTITUDE SET

luzos, walter, david
We’re firing up the engines to start the week at full throttle. We all know Mondays can feel heavier, but it's time to suck it up, get motivated, and push through—otherwise, the week turns into an uphill battle.
So come on, shake off that sleep, because the sooner we get moving, the sooner Friday will roll around again.



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ExtraBall
- Today I dreamed someone tried to steal my phone.
- So, what happened?
- No idea. It was all super weird.

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