MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL318
smm, ariel, david, walter
It’s Friday, and your body knows it. And this isn’t just a catchy phrase—it’s a biological, psychological, and emotional reality. After a week of early mornings, endless meetings, and responsibilities that seem to multiply, Friday arrives with its special aura, that feeling that everything feels a little lighter and that the weekend is right around the corner, bringing plans, rest, and, why not, a well-deserved indulgence.
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Yes, my friend, yes, it’s Friday.
THE MIRROR IS A DAMN LIARluzos, oscar, walter, david
The classic Snow White tale revolves around a magic mirror that always tells the truth about who's the fairest of them all. But now, with the new version starring Rachel Zegler as Snow White and Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen, everything goes straight to hell. Why? Because the mirror dares to claim Rachel is hotter than Gal—which literally no one believes. If there's one thing all guys worldwide agree on, it's that Gal Gadot is easily a thousand times sexier than Rachel Zegler.
So, how the hell does this happen? Here’s where the supposed philosophical symbolism kicks in: the mirror doesn't just measure physical beauty; it also values purity, goodness, and inner beauty. According to that logic, Rachel comes out ahead because she's supposedly got something Gal Gadot lacks in the film: a nobler, less envy-corrupted soul.
Bullshit! If Rachel Zegler has proven anything in recent months, it’s precisely how toxic, arrogant, and poisoned by cheap feminism her soul really is—oozing pretentiousness and superiority from every pore of her body.
The ideological trainwreck Disney has become in recent years finally hit rock bottom by casting someone like her to reboot one of the iconic stories from our childhood.
Therefore, I'm officially revoking all magical powers from that mirror, demoting it on behalf of the patriarchy, and hereby relegating its sole purpose to reflecting and holding suction cups.
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¡Que te jodan, Mickey Mouse!
THE MILF AND HER BROTHER-IN-LAWLara Cruz had been out partying all night with some friends, enjoying a few drinks. When she got back to her room, she noticed someone in her bed. Assuming it was her boyfriend, she moved closer to wake him up, only to discover it wasn't him—it was her boyfriend's younger brother.
Surprise quickly turned into flirtation, accompanied by a bit more wine. A few compliments and some intense teasing led to passionate sex in front of the mirror. And not just in front of the mirror, but in front of a camera too. Thanks to that, we now get to enjoy watching Lara, an incredibly hot MILF, in full action.
Here you'll have access to
the complete video, leaving almost nothing to the viewer’s imagination. Let's hope her boyfriend doesn't read this excerpt—and especially doesn't watch the video where his brother and girlfriend have such an explosive hookup.
You can find many more hot mature women, along with plenty of other profiles, on the leading Spanish-speaking platform,
Loverfans. We hope you enjoy yourself as much as Lara Cruz did.
FRIDAY!
NOW YOU CAN STARTjimmy, walter, ruben, david, sosuke
The day doesn’t start when the sun rises. The day starts when we share our first jerk-off post on ALRNCN.
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Someone should tell her that you’re not supposed to introduce fruit into his diet before four months.
NORTHERN AND SOUTHERN MASTURBATIONSame year, same month, same day, same exact time—but opposite hemispheres.
Because our planet tilts about 23.5 degrees on its axis, these two girls are touching themselves simultaneously but in completely different seasons. While one explores her body surrounded by snow and sub-zero temperatures, on the other side of the world, the other enjoys a hot beach day, feeling the summer breeze and warm sun on her skin.
And that concludes today's rather unique Natural Science lesson.
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Party Night.
THE PURITY GURUSfaisan, david
They say that if you jerk off:
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You lose strength.
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You lose confidence.
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You lose self-control.
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You can’t focus.
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You don’t succeed.
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You don’t get laid.
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You don’t sleep.
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You don’t hustle.
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Your toast burns.
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The milk boils over in the microwave.
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Your grandma cries and doesn’t even know why.
And it’s all because of jerking off.
According to some testosterone gurus, masturbation is basically a betrayal of your destiny to be great. Every time you touch yourself, Elon Musk gets richer and you get poorer. Every solo orgasm is a step further from success.
And there you are, staring at your hand, thinking all you were doing was releasing some tension, sleeping better, and avoiding the shame of sending voice notes to your ex or your crush. But nope, turns out you’re ruining your life.
Luckily, science has been saying the opposite for years: that jerking off reduces stress, helps you sleep, makes you more aware of your body, and doesn’t turn you into a weakling—it just makes you more chill and functional. But of course, that doesn’t sell self-help books or “Alpha Male 7.0” courses.
So yeah, if one day your milk overflows in the microwave, don’t blame it on jerking off. Blame it on not watching the damn thing.
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Pouty lips.