MASTURBATION IN ANCIENT ROME

oscar, raulo, nassa, david
In Ancient Rome, masturbation wasn’t just seen as natural, it was part of everyday life and an open topic in society. Art and literature of the time depicted it without taboos, and both men and women practiced it. Even figures of power, like some emperors, didn’t hesitate to admit it. Unlike later cultures that demonized it, the Romans saw it as just another way to enjoy physical pleasure and meet sexual needs, without any feelings of guilt or shame.

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When the message is pretty clear.

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THE MIRROR IS A DAMN LIAR

luzos, oscar, walter, david
The classic Snow White tale revolves around a magic mirror that always tells the truth about who's the fairest of them all. But now, with the new version starring Rachel Zegler as Snow White and Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen, everything goes straight to hell. Why? Because the mirror dares to claim Rachel is hotter than Gal—which literally no one believes. If there's one thing all guys worldwide agree on, it's that Gal Gadot is easily a thousand times sexier than Rachel Zegler.



So, how the hell does this happen? Here’s where the supposed philosophical symbolism kicks in: the mirror doesn't just measure physical beauty; it also values purity, goodness, and inner beauty. According to that logic, Rachel comes out ahead because she's supposedly got something Gal Gadot lacks in the film: a nobler, less envy-corrupted soul.

Bullshit! If Rachel Zegler has proven anything in recent months, it’s precisely how toxic, arrogant, and poisoned by cheap feminism her soul really is—oozing pretentiousness and superiority from every pore of her body.

The ideological trainwreck Disney has become in recent years finally hit rock bottom by casting someone like her to reboot one of the iconic stories from our childhood.

Therefore, I'm officially revoking all magical powers from that mirror, demoting it on behalf of the patriarchy, and hereby relegating its sole purpose to reflecting and holding suction cups.



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¡Que te jodan, Mickey Mouse!

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MASTURBATE. DO IT FOR YOUR HEALTH

walter, david
Back in 1994, a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association explored the link between masturbation and urinary tract infection prevention in women. The result? Women who masturbated regularly had fewer UTIs. Why? Because masturbation stimulates the release of cervical fluids, which helps flush out bacteria and keeps the urinary tract clean.



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Oops! I'm such a klutz!

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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL321

oscar, david
Back in 2009, a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that female masturbation could actually help relieve headaches.
What’s interesting is that many women in the study didn’t avoid sex or masturbation when they had migraines—they actively sought out orgasm to ease the pain. Turns out, the endorphins released during climax work as natural painkillers.

So next time you hear the classic “not tonight, I’ve got a headache,” remember—it might actually be the perfect reason to go for it. And if anyone asks, just say you read it on ALRNCN.

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Craving summer already!

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MONDAYS AGAIN

walter, david
Mondays at ALRNCN are the bomb, man! It's like hitting the reset button after the weekend—clean, detoxed, fresh, and ready to soak up all the goodness. We fire up those pre-greased machines and dive headfirst into a new week, packed with killer content and epic surprises. Join the party and don't miss a beat of what we're throwing down.



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Don't let anyone or anything come between you and your daily cardio sesh.

The actress is the British babe Jasmine Jae, and in this link, you'll find a ton of her scenes




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TANDEM JUMP

david
Some decisions come with a serious dose of vertigo. Literally. Like climbing into a tiny plane with a harness strapped to your back and an instructor hooked to you… and choosing to throw yourself into the sky from thousands of feet up.
A tandem jump isn’t just freefall—it’s about letting go, trusting the process, and being fully in the moment. For a few intense seconds, there’s no ground, no past, no future. Just the wind on your face, your heart racing, and the feeling that you're doing something you'll never forget.

Some do it for the adrenaline rush, others to cross it off their bucket list. But almost everyone lands with a big smile—and one hell of a story to tell.



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Gender reveal.

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SHOW OFF AN ELEGANT, SPARKLY, AND SOPHISTICATED BOOTY

Instead of getting anal bleaching and dropping serious cash just to end up itchy, irritated, and uncomfortable in some cold clinic, why not go straight for glamour? Treat yourself to a gorgeous butt plug decorated with a gemstone (or at least something that looks like one), and show off an elegant, sparkly, and sophisticated booty.

Forget the pain and embrace the pleasure: while you enjoy the delightful sensations this intimate jewel offers, your partner gets to admire a true work of art. After all, nobody ever said luxury couldn't be enjoyed from behind.

So, now you know: less bleaching, more shining. ✨



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Youth these days!

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