PORN VIDEOS AND PHOTOS

FROM LEATHER TO SOLID GOLD: THE STORY OF THE OLISBO

javi, smm, walter, david
Long before sex toys looked anything like what we know today, women in Ancient Greece already knew how to handle things on their own. Olisbos—phallus-shaped objects made of leather, wood, ceramic, or even bread—were loyal companions when husbands went off to war. Far from being taboo, these early dildos were part of everyday life in cultures like the Greek, Roman, Egyptian, and even Chinese, often paired with simple (and effective) lubricants like olive oil.

Throughout history, the olisbo didn’t just stick around—it evolved. It showed up in plays, scandalous poems, erotic Japanese novels, and even in the private collections of European royalty. From the sex strike in Lysistrata to tortoiseshell dildos in Japan and Queen Isabella’s legendary solid gold toy, it's clear that female pleasure has always sparked creativity.

Funny how many people still think female sexual desire is some modern revelation, thanks to feminism and sexual liberation. The truth is, women have always enjoyed sex—and there were times, like in classical Greece, when they were even more sexually free than today. It’s just that, like so many things, it got buried. But history? If you dig a little, it always has something juicy to say.



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When you're the odd one out but still want to feel useful.

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THE MIRROR IS A DAMN LIAR

luzos, oscar, walter, david
The classic Snow White tale revolves around a magic mirror that always tells the truth about who's the fairest of them all. But now, with the new version starring Rachel Zegler as Snow White and Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen, everything goes straight to hell. Why? Because the mirror dares to claim Rachel is hotter than Gal—which literally no one believes. If there's one thing all guys worldwide agree on, it's that Gal Gadot is easily a thousand times sexier than Rachel Zegler.



So, how the hell does this happen? Here’s where the supposed philosophical symbolism kicks in: the mirror doesn't just measure physical beauty; it also values purity, goodness, and inner beauty. According to that logic, Rachel comes out ahead because she's supposedly got something Gal Gadot lacks in the film: a nobler, less envy-corrupted soul.

Bullshit! If Rachel Zegler has proven anything in recent months, it’s precisely how toxic, arrogant, and poisoned by cheap feminism her soul really is—oozing pretentiousness and superiority from every pore of her body.

The ideological trainwreck Disney has become in recent years finally hit rock bottom by casting someone like her to reboot one of the iconic stories from our childhood.

Therefore, I'm officially revoking all magical powers from that mirror, demoting it on behalf of the patriarchy, and hereby relegating its sole purpose to reflecting and holding suction cups.



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¡Que te jodan, Mickey Mouse!

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MONDAY AT ALRNCN

javi, walter, david
Back to square one, but this time with more drive than excuses. Today’s not about being first—it’s about not standing still. Doesn’t matter if the coffee hasn’t kicked in yet or your body’s still beefing with your bed—Monday doesn’t knock, it kicks the damn door in and drops a whole week on your lap.

So no drama. No excuses. Chin up and fire up the engines. If Friday was a breeze, Monday can be your boost. The jolt. The kick you needed to finally stop putting things off. Let’s f*cking go already.

And yeah, it’s rough. I know. But you’ve gotta get moving. You’ve got more fuel than doubt and way more strength than you give yourself credit for. Come on! You’re wasting time—hit that damn START button already, it’s not gonna push itself.



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What flag is this?

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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL320

david
Friday’s finally here, bringing with it that unbeatable feeling that you've conquered another week. It doesn’t matter if the past few days were rough or if work threw a mountain of problems your way—when Friday rolls around, life instantly tastes sweeter. It's officially time to stash your responsibilities in a drawer and bring out the most carefree version of yourself.
Friday arrives to remind you that you deserve those cold beers after work, a spontaneous getaway, or simply doing absolutely nothing beyond collapsing on the couch.

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The dog just can't take its eyes off her.

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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL321

oscar, david
Back in 2009, a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that female masturbation could actually help relieve headaches.
What’s interesting is that many women in the study didn’t avoid sex or masturbation when they had migraines—they actively sought out orgasm to ease the pain. Turns out, the endorphins released during climax work as natural painkillers.

So next time you hear the classic “not tonight, I’ve got a headache,” remember—it might actually be the perfect reason to go for it. And if anyone asks, just say you read it on ALRNCN.

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Craving summer already!

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NORTHERN AND SOUTHERN MASTURBATION

Same year, same month, same day, same exact time—but opposite hemispheres.
Because our planet tilts about 23.5 degrees on its axis, these two girls are touching themselves simultaneously but in completely different seasons. While one explores her body surrounded by snow and sub-zero temperatures, on the other side of the world, the other enjoys a hot beach day, feeling the summer breeze and warm sun on her skin.

And that concludes today's rather unique Natural Science lesson.



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Party Night.

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