SELF DEFENSE WITH AUDREY BITONI

STUDY BOOST

david
A 2022 study from the University of Göttingen (Germany) found that masturbation can actually improve memory retention and learning. How? Turns out orgasms activate several areas of the brain — including the hippocampus, which is directly linked to memory and information processing.

The theory is that during masturbation, the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin creates the perfect chemical environment to lock in knowledge and boost learning.
Basically, a good wank might do more for your grades than forcing yourself to study with a fried brain.



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Girl, cover yourself! You’re about to flash the whole world.

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SUCTION CUPS: BEYOND INDUSTRIAL USE

walter, david
A suction cup is a device that uses suction to adhere to smooth, non-porous surfaces by creating a pressure difference between its interior and the surrounding environment. In industrial applications, it is used in handling and automation systems to grip, move, or position objects without mechanical clamps. It plays a key role in robotics, production lines, packaging, and assembly, making it easier to handle materials such as glass, metal, plastic, and cardboard. It is also widely used in the automotive industry to lift delicate parts and in construction for installing large glass panels and cladding.



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That’s what I call a perfect landing.

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THE PURITY GURUS

faisan, david
They say that if you jerk off:

• You lose strength.
• You lose confidence.
• You lose self-control.
• You can’t focus.
• You don’t succeed.
• You don’t get laid.
• You don’t sleep.
• You don’t hustle.
• Your toast burns.
• The milk boils over in the microwave.
• Your grandma cries and doesn’t even know why.

And it’s all because of jerking off.

According to some testosterone gurus, masturbation is basically a betrayal of your destiny to be great. Every time you touch yourself, Elon Musk gets richer and you get poorer. Every solo orgasm is a step further from success.
And there you are, staring at your hand, thinking all you were doing was releasing some tension, sleeping better, and avoiding the shame of sending voice notes to your ex or your crush. But nope, turns out you’re ruining your life.

Luckily, science has been saying the opposite for years: that jerking off reduces stress, helps you sleep, makes you more aware of your body, and doesn’t turn you into a weakling—it just makes you more chill and functional. But of course, that doesn’t sell self-help books or “Alpha Male 7.0” courses.

So yeah, if one day your milk overflows in the microwave, don’t blame it on jerking off. Blame it on not watching the damn thing.



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Pouty lips.

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THE FIRST WIRELESS VIBRATORS

david
While electric vibrators had existed since the late 19th century, for decades, they were large, noisy, and required a power outlet, making them anything but discreet or convenient. That all changed in the 1960s with advancements in rechargeable battery technology and portable devices. This innovation led to the first wireless vibrators, eliminating the need for cords and making them far more practical and accessible. Since then, the technology has continued to evolve. Today, vibrators feature ergonomic designs, whisper-quiet motors, and even app connectivity for personalized experiences. But it all started with that first wireless model, marking the beginning of a new era in female sexuality.



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Before | After

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MONDAY AT ALRNCN

javi, walter, david
Back to square one, but this time with more drive than excuses. Today’s not about being first—it’s about not standing still. Doesn’t matter if the coffee hasn’t kicked in yet or your body’s still beefing with your bed—Monday doesn’t knock, it kicks the damn door in and drops a whole week on your lap.

So no drama. No excuses. Chin up and fire up the engines. If Friday was a breeze, Monday can be your boost. The jolt. The kick you needed to finally stop putting things off. Let’s f*cking go already.

And yeah, it’s rough. I know. But you’ve gotta get moving. You’ve got more fuel than doubt and way more strength than you give yourself credit for. Come on! You’re wasting time—hit that damn START button already, it’s not gonna push itself.



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What flag is this?

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RESTORING ORDER AND HARMONY IN THE UNIVERSE

eas, javi, julio, luis, lucas, walter, david
In Japanese mythology, legend has it that the sun goddess Amaterasu, upset by her brother’s constant pranks, hid herself away in a cave, plunging the world into darkness. To lure her out, the other gods threw a wild party right at the cave's entrance. In the middle of the celebration, the goddess Ame-no-Uzume began to dance provocatively and, according to some versions of the story, even masturbated in front of the cave. The bizarre and outrageous display caught Amaterasu’s curiosity, and she eventually stepped out—bringing light back to the world.

This myth shows how, in some ancient cultures, masturbation wasn’t just seen as natural—it was powerful enough to restore balance and harmony to the universe.



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The new neighbor. The one your wife can’t stand.

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