SHE CAN'T WAIT

ruben
I think something similar happened to me, obvious differences aside, the day they gave me a PS4. I could not wait. I was looking forward to getting home to try it out.

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Coming! One is coming! One is coming!

➡️ Let's do real, be real with Tantaly, the sex doll torso leader

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THE MIRROR IS A DAMN LIAR

luzos, oscar, walter, david
The classic Snow White tale revolves around a magic mirror that always tells the truth about who's the fairest of them all. But now, with the new version starring Rachel Zegler as Snow White and Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen, everything goes straight to hell. Why? Because the mirror dares to claim Rachel is hotter than Gal—which literally no one believes. If there's one thing all guys worldwide agree on, it's that Gal Gadot is easily a thousand times sexier than Rachel Zegler.



So, how the hell does this happen? Here’s where the supposed philosophical symbolism kicks in: the mirror doesn't just measure physical beauty; it also values purity, goodness, and inner beauty. According to that logic, Rachel comes out ahead because she's supposedly got something Gal Gadot lacks in the film: a nobler, less envy-corrupted soul.

Bullshit! If Rachel Zegler has proven anything in recent months, it’s precisely how toxic, arrogant, and poisoned by cheap feminism her soul really is—oozing pretentiousness and superiority from every pore of her body.

The ideological trainwreck Disney has become in recent years finally hit rock bottom by casting someone like her to reboot one of the iconic stories from our childhood.

Therefore, I'm officially revoking all magical powers from that mirror, demoting it on behalf of the patriarchy, and hereby relegating its sole purpose to reflecting and holding suction cups.



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¡Que te jodan, Mickey Mouse!

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FROM LEATHER TO SOLID GOLD: THE STORY OF THE OLISBO

javi, smm, walter, david
Long before sex toys looked anything like what we know today, women in Ancient Greece already knew how to handle things on their own. Olisbos—phallus-shaped objects made of leather, wood, ceramic, or even bread—were loyal companions when husbands went off to war. Far from being taboo, these early dildos were part of everyday life in cultures like the Greek, Roman, Egyptian, and even Chinese, often paired with simple (and effective) lubricants like olive oil.

Throughout history, the olisbo didn’t just stick around—it evolved. It showed up in plays, scandalous poems, erotic Japanese novels, and even in the private collections of European royalty. From the sex strike in Lysistrata to tortoiseshell dildos in Japan and Queen Isabella’s legendary solid gold toy, it's clear that female pleasure has always sparked creativity.

Funny how many people still think female sexual desire is some modern revelation, thanks to feminism and sexual liberation. The truth is, women have always enjoyed sex—and there were times, like in classical Greece, when they were even more sexually free than today. It’s just that, like so many things, it got buried. But history? If you dig a little, it always has something juicy to say.



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When you're the odd one out but still want to feel useful.

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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL324

Back in 1994, Dr. Joycelyn Elders—an American physician and sexologist who became the first African American woman to serve as U.S. Surgeon General—sparked major controversy by suggesting that masturbation is a natural part of human sexuality and should be mentioned in sex education for young people.
Her comments stirred up a national debate and eventually led to her being forced out of her position by President Bill Clinton.

That incident shows how, even just 30 years ago, masturbation was still a taboo subject for a lot of people—and how attitudes toward it could shape public policy and education.

Has anything changed since then? I'd say hell yes.

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I'm just tired.






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RESTORING ORDER AND HARMONY IN THE UNIVERSE

eas, javi, julio, luis, lucas, walter, david
In Japanese mythology, legend has it that the sun goddess Amaterasu, upset by her brother’s constant pranks, hid herself away in a cave, plunging the world into darkness. To lure her out, the other gods threw a wild party right at the cave's entrance. In the middle of the celebration, the goddess Ame-no-Uzume began to dance provocatively and, according to some versions of the story, even masturbated in front of the cave. The bizarre and outrageous display caught Amaterasu’s curiosity, and she eventually stepped out—bringing light back to the world.

This myth shows how, in some ancient cultures, masturbation wasn’t just seen as natural—it was powerful enough to restore balance and harmony to the universe.



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ExtraBall
The new neighbor. The one your wife can’t stand.

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THE PURITY GURUS

faisan, david
They say that if you jerk off:

• You lose strength.
• You lose confidence.
• You lose self-control.
• You can’t focus.
• You don’t succeed.
• You don’t get laid.
• You don’t sleep.
• You don’t hustle.
• Your toast burns.
• The milk boils over in the microwave.
• Your grandma cries and doesn’t even know why.

And it’s all because of jerking off.

According to some testosterone gurus, masturbation is basically a betrayal of your destiny to be great. Every time you touch yourself, Elon Musk gets richer and you get poorer. Every solo orgasm is a step further from success.
And there you are, staring at your hand, thinking all you were doing was releasing some tension, sleeping better, and avoiding the shame of sending voice notes to your ex or your crush. But nope, turns out you’re ruining your life.

Luckily, science has been saying the opposite for years: that jerking off reduces stress, helps you sleep, makes you more aware of your body, and doesn’t turn you into a weakling—it just makes you more chill and functional. But of course, that doesn’t sell self-help books or “Alpha Male 7.0” courses.

So yeah, if one day your milk overflows in the microwave, don’t blame it on jerking off. Blame it on not watching the damn thing.



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Pouty lips.

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MONDAYS AGAIN

walter, david
Mondays at ALRNCN are the bomb, man! It's like hitting the reset button after the weekend—clean, detoxed, fresh, and ready to soak up all the goodness. We fire up those pre-greased machines and dive headfirst into a new week, packed with killer content and epic surprises. Join the party and don't miss a beat of what we're throwing down.



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Don't let anyone or anything come between you and your daily cardio sesh.

The actress is the British babe Jasmine Jae, and in this link, you'll find a ton of her scenes




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