SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE

david, javi, smm, sosuke, walter
In the Middle Ages, masturbation wasn’t just seen as a moral taboo or a sin; it was shrouded in an almost supernatural fear. Many people lived in constant dread of being watched by divine or demonic forces, as it was believed that demons encouraged such practices to steer souls away from God. Religious narratives reinforced the idea that masturbating was a way of “inviting” the devil into your life, potentially leading to eternal damnation. This fear wasn’t only spiritual but also social, as being labeled "impure" could isolate you or subject you to public judgment.

Now, while the figure of the devil is no longer the main source of fear for most, a new “hell” seems to have taken its place: social stigma. Masturbation remains a topic that, though more normalized in some circles, still generates shame, discomfort, or ridicule in others. Today, the fear isn’t about being condemned by God or possessed by a demon—it’s about facing society’s judgment.

For example, the fear of being labeled a “jerk-off” or having personal habits exposed leads many to hide normal aspects of their sexuality. On social media, cancel culture or cruel memes can become a modern hell, where public humiliation replaces divine punishment. In this sense, social pressure acts as the new “devil,” while collective rejection or shame are the flames of the hell we now fear.

Ironically, both in the Middle Ages and today, these fears limit our ability to speak openly about something so human and natural. The difference lies in who enforces the control: in the past, it was the Church and fear of divine punishment; now, it’s society itself, through unwritten social and digital norms.

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SUCTION CUPS: BEYOND INDUSTRIAL USE

walter, david
A suction cup is a device that uses suction to adhere to smooth, non-porous surfaces by creating a pressure difference between its interior and the surrounding environment. In industrial applications, it is used in handling and automation systems to grip, move, or position objects without mechanical clamps. It plays a key role in robotics, production lines, packaging, and assembly, making it easier to handle materials such as glass, metal, plastic, and cardboard. It is also widely used in the automotive industry to lift delicate parts and in construction for installing large glass panels and cladding.



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STUDY BOOST

david
A 2022 study from the University of Göttingen (Germany) found that masturbation can actually improve memory retention and learning. How? Turns out orgasms activate several areas of the brain — including the hippocampus, which is directly linked to memory and information processing.

The theory is that during masturbation, the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin creates the perfect chemical environment to lock in knowledge and boost learning.
Basically, a good wank might do more for your grades than forcing yourself to study with a fried brain.



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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL321

oscar, david
Back in 2009, a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that female masturbation could actually help relieve headaches.
What’s interesting is that many women in the study didn’t avoid sex or masturbation when they had migraines—they actively sought out orgasm to ease the pain. Turns out, the endorphins released during climax work as natural painkillers.

So next time you hear the classic “not tonight, I’ve got a headache,” remember—it might actually be the perfect reason to go for it. And if anyone asks, just say you read it on ALRNCN.

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MINDFULNESS AND MASTURBATION

luzos, smm, david
Mindful masturbation is a different approach to pleasuring yourself, where you focus entirely on the physical sensations you're experiencing, without relying on fantasies, images, or external stimuli like videos or memories.

It might sound a bit strange at first since most of us are used to masturbating with some kind of fantasy or visual stimulation in mind. But with mindful masturbation, the goal is to fully enjoy the immediate pleasure by concentrating exclusively on your sensations, without rushing or getting distracted.

But can you actually reach orgasm without fantasies? The short answer is yes, although it might seem tricky at first. Direct physical stimulation alone—without mental images or external stimuli—can absolutely lead you to orgasm. In fact, many people who've tried this method say their orgasms are noticeably different: deeper, more intense, and more satisfying because they're fully connected to what's happening in their bodies, without distractions.



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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL320

david
Friday’s finally here, bringing with it that unbeatable feeling that you've conquered another week. It doesn’t matter if the past few days were rough or if work threw a mountain of problems your way—when Friday rolls around, life instantly tastes sweeter. It's officially time to stash your responsibilities in a drawer and bring out the most carefree version of yourself.
Friday arrives to remind you that you deserve those cold beers after work, a spontaneous getaway, or simply doing absolutely nothing beyond collapsing on the couch.

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THE MIRROR IS A DAMN LIAR

luzos, oscar, walter, david
The classic Snow White tale revolves around a magic mirror that always tells the truth about who's the fairest of them all. But now, with the new version starring Rachel Zegler as Snow White and Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen, everything goes straight to hell. Why? Because the mirror dares to claim Rachel is hotter than Gal—which literally no one believes. If there's one thing all guys worldwide agree on, it's that Gal Gadot is easily a thousand times sexier than Rachel Zegler.



So, how the hell does this happen? Here’s where the supposed philosophical symbolism kicks in: the mirror doesn't just measure physical beauty; it also values purity, goodness, and inner beauty. According to that logic, Rachel comes out ahead because she's supposedly got something Gal Gadot lacks in the film: a nobler, less envy-corrupted soul.

Bullshit! If Rachel Zegler has proven anything in recent months, it’s precisely how toxic, arrogant, and poisoned by cheap feminism her soul really is—oozing pretentiousness and superiority from every pore of her body.

The ideological trainwreck Disney has become in recent years finally hit rock bottom by casting someone like her to reboot one of the iconic stories from our childhood.

Therefore, I'm officially revoking all magical powers from that mirror, demoting it on behalf of the patriarchy, and hereby relegating its sole purpose to reflecting and holding suction cups.



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