WHORES AND COCAINE

digao:
I remember some time ago I watched a video of a female reporter who asked a man, in some place of the United States, what would he do if he won the lottery... The man was very honest and he calmly answered "whores and cocaine".

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Mormon teen fucked... Mel B., Spice Girls' black singer, goes topless... And slut fucked by old man.



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MASTURBATE. DO IT FOR YOUR HEALTH

walter, david
Back in 1994, a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association explored the link between masturbation and urinary tract infection prevention in women. The result? Women who masturbated regularly had fewer UTIs. Why? Because masturbation stimulates the release of cervical fluids, which helps flush out bacteria and keeps the urinary tract clean.



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Oops! I'm such a klutz!

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THE MOST INSPIRING WAY TO START THE DAY

smm, vikingo, david
There isn’t just one way to start the day, but ours is, without a doubt, the most inspiring. Because we kick things off with the best—something that awakens the senses and fuels the imagination. A start that makes it clear today is going to be a good day… and that the best is yet to come.



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Doing the laundry.

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YOU’LL BE WATCHING AI-GENERATED CONTENT WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING IT

A lot of people claim they’re against AI-generated porn. They see it as fake, cold, and soulless—like desire needs some kind of “authenticity certificate” to feel real. But the truth is, we’re this close to a point where none of that will matter. The level of realism that’s coming is so insane that neither you, nor me, nor anyone else will be able to tell if that woman on screen is made of flesh and blood… or pure code.

And we’re not just talking about polished, studio-level productions. Even the so-called amateur stuff is getting in on the game. That homemade vibe—the shaky camera, the phone in hand, the casual lighting—all of it can be faked. And it will be faked. Just like a forged painting crafted by a master—most people won’t notice the difference. That’s where porn is headed. The human eye just won’t be enough anymore.



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Dying to squeeze them.

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THE MIRROR IS A DAMN LIAR

luzos, oscar, walter, david
The classic Snow White tale revolves around a magic mirror that always tells the truth about who's the fairest of them all. But now, with the new version starring Rachel Zegler as Snow White and Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen, everything goes straight to hell. Why? Because the mirror dares to claim Rachel is hotter than Gal—which literally no one believes. If there's one thing all guys worldwide agree on, it's that Gal Gadot is easily a thousand times sexier than Rachel Zegler.



So, how the hell does this happen? Here’s where the supposed philosophical symbolism kicks in: the mirror doesn't just measure physical beauty; it also values purity, goodness, and inner beauty. According to that logic, Rachel comes out ahead because she's supposedly got something Gal Gadot lacks in the film: a nobler, less envy-corrupted soul.

Bullshit! If Rachel Zegler has proven anything in recent months, it’s precisely how toxic, arrogant, and poisoned by cheap feminism her soul really is—oozing pretentiousness and superiority from every pore of her body.

The ideological trainwreck Disney has become in recent years finally hit rock bottom by casting someone like her to reboot one of the iconic stories from our childhood.

Therefore, I'm officially revoking all magical powers from that mirror, demoting it on behalf of the patriarchy, and hereby relegating its sole purpose to reflecting and holding suction cups.



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¡Que te jodan, Mickey Mouse!

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NOW YOU CAN START

jimmy, walter, ruben, david, sosuke
The day doesn’t start when the sun rises. The day starts when we share our first jerk-off post on ALRNCN.



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Someone should tell her that you’re not supposed to introduce fruit into his diet before four months.

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RESTORING ORDER AND HARMONY IN THE UNIVERSE

eas, javi, julio, luis, lucas, walter, david
In Japanese mythology, legend has it that the sun goddess Amaterasu, upset by her brother’s constant pranks, hid herself away in a cave, plunging the world into darkness. To lure her out, the other gods threw a wild party right at the cave's entrance. In the middle of the celebration, the goddess Ame-no-Uzume began to dance provocatively and, according to some versions of the story, even masturbated in front of the cave. The bizarre and outrageous display caught Amaterasu’s curiosity, and she eventually stepped out—bringing light back to the world.

This myth shows how, in some ancient cultures, masturbation wasn’t just seen as natural—it was powerful enough to restore balance and harmony to the universe.



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The new neighbor. The one your wife can’t stand.

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