FANTASY DIDDLE

Storytellers, superheroines, villains, adventurers... Beyond their purposes, they all have needs, and guess what? In the absence of a Prince Charming, a savior of the world or an evil enemy of the universe, they must satisfy themselves if they do not want to suffer migraines.

➡️ Let's do real, be real with Tantaly, the sex doll torso leader

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Achievement unlocked.

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MONDAY AT ALRNCN

javi, walter, david
Back to square one, but this time with more drive than excuses. Today’s not about being first—it’s about not standing still. Doesn’t matter if the coffee hasn’t kicked in yet or your body’s still beefing with your bed—Monday doesn’t knock, it kicks the damn door in and drops a whole week on your lap.

So no drama. No excuses. Chin up and fire up the engines. If Friday was a breeze, Monday can be your boost. The jolt. The kick you needed to finally stop putting things off. Let’s f*cking go already.

And yeah, it’s rough. I know. But you’ve gotta get moving. You’ve got more fuel than doubt and way more strength than you give yourself credit for. Come on! You’re wasting time—hit that damn START button already, it’s not gonna push itself.



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What flag is this?

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MORE BENEFITS YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT

cesar, eas, javi, lucas, oscar, david
A 1994 study by the National Institutes of Health suggested that frequent ejaculation in men could be linked to a reduced risk of developing kidney stones.

The reasoning behind this theory is quite interesting: ejaculation helps flush out certain toxins and minerals that accumulate in the prostate and urinary tract. Some of these minerals are the same ones that, when crystallized, can lead to the dreaded kidney stones. In other words, maintaining an active sex life—including masturbation—could help prevent the buildup of these substances, reducing the chances of kidney stones forming.

While this doesn’t mean masturbation is a magic cure for kidney stones, it could be another piece of the puzzle for a healthy lifestyle. Paired with good hydration and a balanced diet, it might be a natural—and far more enjoyable—preventive strategy compared to other medical recommendations.



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See ya!

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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL323

Back in the Renaissance, some doctors already understood what we now consider basic common sense: if unrequited love is driving you mad, maybe what you need isn’t poetry — it’s a good old-fashioned wank.

They called it “amorous melancholy,” and it was basically a kind of depression triggered by pent-up desire. And yes, some physicians actually recommended releasing the tension as a way to avoid going off the rails. Ejaculating as therapy. Literally. They didn’t say it that bluntly, but between the lines, what they were prescribing was sex — and then moving on with your life.

Guided by the theory of humors (from Hippocrates and Galen), they believed imbalances in bodily fluids like bile, blood, or even semen could mess with both your physical and mental health.

• Girolamo Mercuriale (1530–1606)an Italian physician and author of De Morbis Cutaneis and De Morbo Gallico, didn’t talk about masturbation directly, but he did suggest that prolonged sexual abstinence could cause illness — and that sex (or a release) could be therapeutic.
• André Du Laurens (1558–1609), a French doctor, openly discussed amorous melancholy in his work Discours de la conservation de la vue… and recommended sex or ejaculation to restore emotional balance.
• Juan Huarte de San Juan (1529–1588), a Spanish physician and author of Examen de Ingenios, connected unsatisfied sexual desire with mental and emotional instability. He didn’t mention masturbation explicitly either, but made it clear that release was necessary for emotional stability — especially in those with an excess of “heat” or desire.

So yes, masturbation was seen as a way to treat romantic despair in the Renaissance. The idea of jerking off so you don’t lose your mind over heartbreak? It’s right there in the old medical texts.

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In team sports, communication is everything.

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THE GREATEST INVENTIONS: SUCTION CUPS

david
Can you imagine the face of the man who invented the suction cup, now realizing how people attach them to rubber cocks for women to masturbate? Do you think he would be upset or perhaps proud?



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For Apple users
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Drink, drink, drink!

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FROM LEATHER TO SOLID GOLD: THE STORY OF THE OLISBO

javi, smm, walter, david
Long before sex toys looked anything like what we know today, women in Ancient Greece already knew how to handle things on their own. Olisbos—phallus-shaped objects made of leather, wood, ceramic, or even bread—were loyal companions when husbands went off to war. Far from being taboo, these early dildos were part of everyday life in cultures like the Greek, Roman, Egyptian, and even Chinese, often paired with simple (and effective) lubricants like olive oil.

Throughout history, the olisbo didn’t just stick around—it evolved. It showed up in plays, scandalous poems, erotic Japanese novels, and even in the private collections of European royalty. From the sex strike in Lysistrata to tortoiseshell dildos in Japan and Queen Isabella’s legendary solid gold toy, it's clear that female pleasure has always sparked creativity.

Funny how many people still think female sexual desire is some modern revelation, thanks to feminism and sexual liberation. The truth is, women have always enjoyed sex—and there were times, like in classical Greece, when they were even more sexually free than today. It’s just that, like so many things, it got buried. But history? If you dig a little, it always has something juicy to say.



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For Apple users
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When you're the odd one out but still want to feel useful.

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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL321

oscar, david
Back in 2009, a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that female masturbation could actually help relieve headaches.
What’s interesting is that many women in the study didn’t avoid sex or masturbation when they had migraines—they actively sought out orgasm to ease the pain. Turns out, the endorphins released during climax work as natural painkillers.

So next time you hear the classic “not tonight, I’ve got a headache,” remember—it might actually be the perfect reason to go for it. And if anyone asks, just say you read it on ALRNCN.

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For Apple users
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Craving summer already!

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