MASTURBATION IS FOR THE SMART

vicos, walter, david
In 1992, a study known as The National Health and Social Life Survey revealed that masturbation is more common among people with university degrees and higher levels of education. This study found that, in general, people with higher education not only masturbated more but also had a more open attitude toward the subject. This suggests that, in some cases, education may be linked to greater acceptance of sexuality and personal sexual well-being.

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Coffee and sex. That’s how we start the day at ALRNCN.

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TIED WITH A CHAIN

You know those pens that are tied with a chain in some bank branches to prevent customers from taking them home? It's the same idea.



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A good massage.

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She is the actress Noelle Easton, and in this other link, you can watch some of her scenes.




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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL317

I hope your week has been at least somewhat entertaining, thanks to ALRNCN. Nothing would make me happier. Well, maybe a few things would—like checking the lottery and finding out I’m a millionaire, or a Dubai sheikh deciding to fund me just for fun, waking up to breakfast in bed prepared by Margot Robbie in lingerie, or Elon Musk randomly wiring me a couple of million just “for the lols.” Or even bumping into Angela White, having her twist her ankle, bringing her home to ice it, and then getting absolutely ravaged by her as a thank-you. That too.

But without a doubt, knowing that ALRNCN is keeping you entertained is also on the list of things that make me happy. I don’t know in what position, but trust me, you’re on there.

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Kanchō (カンチョー)

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AVOIDING MASTURBATION IN THE 11TH CENTURY

javi, br, oscar, walter, david
In the Middle Ages, masturbation was considered a serious sin by the Church, and monks had rather extreme methods to avoid it. Some would sleep with iron gloves lined with spikes to make any nocturnal attempt painful. Others, following the advice of theologian Saint Peter Damian in the 11th century, slept with their arms crossed over their chests or even tied their hands to resist temptation.

It was also believed that certain foods, such as red meat and spices, increased "lust," so monks followed very restricted diets based on bread, legumes, and fish to suppress any sexual urges.

While these ideas may seem extreme today, their influence still lingers. Even after centuries, sex and masturbation remain taboo topics in many countries where Christianity has played a major role. In many ways, the stigma surrounding sexuality today has its roots in that era. As the saying goes: you reap what you sow.



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Let this video be a reminder that, today, Monday, February 10, 2025, everything has changed.

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EMPEROR TIBERIUS

smm, vicos, walter, david
In Ancient Rome, Emperor Tiberius (14–37 AD) was infamous for his sexual excesses, but there’s a particularly curious detail related to masturbation. According to the historian Suetonius, Tiberius had a secret villa in Capri where he organized all kinds of sexual activities. It is also said that he kept a group of young attendants whose sole purpose was to masturbate him while he watched naked women and couples having sex.

It is believed that this was an attempt to maximize pleasure without expending too much energy, showing that masturbation was not only common but, in certain elite circles, refined to the level of an almost ritualistic art.
Although Suetonius’ accounts may be exaggerated and prone to sensationalism, they highlight how, in some periods, masturbation was not seen as taboo but rather as an accepted practice within society.

If Tiberius were alive today, he’d probably have a premium subscription to every adult content platform.



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Twerking

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ORGASMS WITHOUT EJACULATION

javi, david, walter
Tibetan tantric monks have mastered the art of achieving orgasms without ejaculation through advanced techniques of muscle control, breathing, and meditation. Instead of letting the body act automatically, they learn to contract the pelvic floor muscles at the precise moment, preventing semen from being expelled. They believe that by doing so, they preserve their "vital energy" and redirect it within the body, supposedly gaining longevity and mental clarity. In some cases, the semen doesn’t just disappear—it’s either reabsorbed or redirected to the bladder to be expelled later with urine.

A perfect trick for that late-night session when you forgot to grab tissues.



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Red Devil.

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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL318

smm, ariel, david, walter
It’s Friday, and your body knows it. And this isn’t just a catchy phrase—it’s a biological, psychological, and emotional reality. After a week of early mornings, endless meetings, and responsibilities that seem to multiply, Friday arrives with its special aura, that feeling that everything feels a little lighter and that the weekend is right around the corner, bringing plans, rest, and, why not, a well-deserved indulgence.

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Yes, my friend, yes, it’s Friday.

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