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Published on 2020/02/26

PUSSY AIRLINE





From Pussy Airline we hope you had a good flight and enjoyed the experience with us. We hope to see you again in the near future. Thank you very much for trusting us.



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Flight attendants' School





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SUCTION CUPS: BEYOND INDUSTRIAL USE

walter, david
A suction cup is a device that uses suction to adhere to smooth, non-porous surfaces by creating a pressure difference between its interior and the surrounding environment. In industrial applications, it is used in handling and automation systems to grip, move, or position objects without mechanical clamps. It plays a key role in robotics, production lines, packaging, and assembly, making it easier to handle materials such as glass, metal, plastic, and cardboard. It is also widely used in the automotive industry to lift delicate parts and in construction for installing large glass panels and cladding.



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That’s what I call a perfect landing.






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THE MIRROR IS A DAMN LIAR

luzos, oscar, walter, david
The classic Snow White tale revolves around a magic mirror that always tells the truth about who's the fairest of them all. But now, with the new version starring Rachel Zegler as Snow White and Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen, everything goes straight to hell. Why? Because the mirror dares to claim Rachel is hotter than Gal—which literally no one believes. If there's one thing all guys worldwide agree on, it's that Gal Gadot is easily a thousand times sexier than Rachel Zegler.



So, how the hell does this happen? Here’s where the supposed philosophical symbolism kicks in: the mirror doesn't just measure physical beauty; it also values purity, goodness, and inner beauty. According to that logic, Rachel comes out ahead because she's supposedly got something Gal Gadot lacks in the film: a nobler, less envy-corrupted soul.

Bullshit! If Rachel Zegler has proven anything in recent months, it’s precisely how toxic, arrogant, and poisoned by cheap feminism her soul really is—oozing pretentiousness and superiority from every pore of her body.

The ideological trainwreck Disney has become in recent years finally hit rock bottom by casting someone like her to reboot one of the iconic stories from our childhood.

Therefore, I'm officially revoking all magical powers from that mirror, demoting it on behalf of the patriarchy, and hereby relegating its sole purpose to reflecting and holding suction cups.



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¡Que te jodan, Mickey Mouse!






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SHOW OFF AN ELEGANT, SPARKLY, AND SOPHISTICATED BOOTY

Instead of getting anal bleaching and dropping serious cash just to end up itchy, irritated, and uncomfortable in some cold clinic, why not go straight for glamour? Treat yourself to a gorgeous butt plug decorated with a gemstone (or at least something that looks like one), and show off an elegant, sparkly, and sophisticated booty.

Forget the pain and embrace the pleasure: while you enjoy the delightful sensations this intimate jewel offers, your partner gets to admire a true work of art. After all, nobody ever said luxury couldn't be enjoyed from behind.

So, now you know: less bleaching, more shining. ✨



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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL323

Back in the Renaissance, some doctors already understood what we now consider basic common sense: if unrequited love is driving you mad, maybe what you need isn’t poetry — it’s a good old-fashioned wank.

They called it “amorous melancholy,” and it was basically a kind of depression triggered by pent-up desire. And yes, some physicians actually recommended releasing the tension as a way to avoid going off the rails. Ejaculating as therapy. Literally. They didn’t say it that bluntly, but between the lines, what they were prescribing was sex — and then moving on with your life.

Guided by the theory of humors (from Hippocrates and Galen), they believed imbalances in bodily fluids like bile, blood, or even semen could mess with both your physical and mental health.
  • Girolamo Mercuriale (1530–1606)an Italian physician and author of De Morbis Cutaneis and De Morbo Gallico, didn’t talk about masturbation directly, but he did suggest that prolonged sexual abstinence could cause illness — and that sex (or a release) could be therapeutic.
  • André Du Laurens (1558–1609), a French doctor, openly discussed amorous melancholy in his work Discours de la conservation de la vue… and recommended sex or ejaculation to restore emotional balance.
  • Juan Huarte de San Juan (1529–1588), a Spanish physician and author of Examen de Ingenios, connected unsatisfied sexual desire with mental and emotional instability. He didn’t mention masturbation explicitly either, but made it clear that release was necessary for emotional stability — especially in those with an excess of “heat” or desire.
So yes, masturbation was seen as a way to treat romantic despair in the Renaissance. The idea of jerking off so you don’t lose your mind over heartbreak? It’s right there in the old medical texts.



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In team sports, communication is everything.






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NOW YOU CAN START

jimmy, walter, ruben, david, sosuke
The day doesn’t start when the sun rises. The day starts when we share our first jerk-off post on ALRNCN.



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Someone should tell her that you’re not supposed to introduce fruit into his diet before four months.






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THE MOST INSPIRING WAY TO START THE DAY

smm, vikingo, david
There isn’t just one way to start the day, but ours is, without a doubt, the most inspiring. Because we kick things off with the best—something that awakens the senses and fuels the imagination. A start that makes it clear today is going to be a good day… and that the best is yet to come.



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