TELL ME HOW YOU MASTURBATE AND I'LL TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE

javi, david
Masturbating with a dilator stuck in your ass says a lot about the person who does it. They are women who seek to overcome their limits, who tend to be determined, ambitious, resilient and willing to learn, undertake and adapt. It is precisely these traits that help them face challenges, achieve their goals and continue to grow in different aspects of their lives.
Where you may see a vicious woman, I see an example to follow and a faithful companion who will not leave you stranded along the way.

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Making a stop.



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STUDY BOOST

david
A 2022 study from the University of Göttingen (Germany) found that masturbation can actually improve memory retention and learning. How? Turns out orgasms activate several areas of the brain — including the hippocampus, which is directly linked to memory and information processing.

The theory is that during masturbation, the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin creates the perfect chemical environment to lock in knowledge and boost learning.
Basically, a good wank might do more for your grades than forcing yourself to study with a fried brain.



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Girl, cover yourself! You’re about to flash the whole world.

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MELANCHOLY MASTURBATION

david
Back in 2021, a study published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy found that many people turn to masturbation not just for physical pleasure, but as a form of emotional self-care. Some participants said they did it to calm their anxiety, feel less alone, or reconnect with themselves during times of stress, sadness, or isolation. It’s not always about pleasure—it can also be about comfort and emotional regulation.

Melancholy masturbation. Self-love to lift the mood.



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Being the director of Human Resources isn’t exactly a walk in the park. Way too much pressure. Giving bad news, dealing with raise requests, filling vacant positions, climbing the corporate ladder…

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SHOW OFF AN ELEGANT, SPARKLY, AND SOPHISTICATED BOOTY

Instead of getting anal bleaching and dropping serious cash just to end up itchy, irritated, and uncomfortable in some cold clinic, why not go straight for glamour? Treat yourself to a gorgeous butt plug decorated with a gemstone (or at least something that looks like one), and show off an elegant, sparkly, and sophisticated booty.

Forget the pain and embrace the pleasure: while you enjoy the delightful sensations this intimate jewel offers, your partner gets to admire a true work of art. After all, nobody ever said luxury couldn't be enjoyed from behind.

So, now you know: less bleaching, more shining. ✨



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Youth these days!

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FROM LEATHER TO SOLID GOLD: THE STORY OF THE OLISBO

javi, smm, walter, david
Long before sex toys looked anything like what we know today, women in Ancient Greece already knew how to handle things on their own. Olisbos—phallus-shaped objects made of leather, wood, ceramic, or even bread—were loyal companions when husbands went off to war. Far from being taboo, these early dildos were part of everyday life in cultures like the Greek, Roman, Egyptian, and even Chinese, often paired with simple (and effective) lubricants like olive oil.

Throughout history, the olisbo didn’t just stick around—it evolved. It showed up in plays, scandalous poems, erotic Japanese novels, and even in the private collections of European royalty. From the sex strike in Lysistrata to tortoiseshell dildos in Japan and Queen Isabella’s legendary solid gold toy, it's clear that female pleasure has always sparked creativity.

Funny how many people still think female sexual desire is some modern revelation, thanks to feminism and sexual liberation. The truth is, women have always enjoyed sex—and there were times, like in classical Greece, when they were even more sexually free than today. It’s just that, like so many things, it got buried. But history? If you dig a little, it always has something juicy to say.



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When you're the odd one out but still want to feel useful.

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MONDAY AT ALRNCN

javi, walter, david
Back to square one, but this time with more drive than excuses. Today’s not about being first—it’s about not standing still. Doesn’t matter if the coffee hasn’t kicked in yet or your body’s still beefing with your bed—Monday doesn’t knock, it kicks the damn door in and drops a whole week on your lap.

So no drama. No excuses. Chin up and fire up the engines. If Friday was a breeze, Monday can be your boost. The jolt. The kick you needed to finally stop putting things off. Let’s f*cking go already.

And yeah, it’s rough. I know. But you’ve gotta get moving. You’ve got more fuel than doubt and way more strength than you give yourself credit for. Come on! You’re wasting time—hit that damn START button already, it’s not gonna push itself.



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What flag is this?

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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL323

Back in the Renaissance, some doctors already understood what we now consider basic common sense: if unrequited love is driving you mad, maybe what you need isn’t poetry — it’s a good old-fashioned wank.

They called it “amorous melancholy,” and it was basically a kind of depression triggered by pent-up desire. And yes, some physicians actually recommended releasing the tension as a way to avoid going off the rails. Ejaculating as therapy. Literally. They didn’t say it that bluntly, but between the lines, what they were prescribing was sex — and then moving on with your life.

Guided by the theory of humors (from Hippocrates and Galen), they believed imbalances in bodily fluids like bile, blood, or even semen could mess with both your physical and mental health.

• Girolamo Mercuriale (1530–1606)an Italian physician and author of De Morbis Cutaneis and De Morbo Gallico, didn’t talk about masturbation directly, but he did suggest that prolonged sexual abstinence could cause illness — and that sex (or a release) could be therapeutic.
• André Du Laurens (1558–1609), a French doctor, openly discussed amorous melancholy in his work Discours de la conservation de la vue… and recommended sex or ejaculation to restore emotional balance.
• Juan Huarte de San Juan (1529–1588), a Spanish physician and author of Examen de Ingenios, connected unsatisfied sexual desire with mental and emotional instability. He didn’t mention masturbation explicitly either, but made it clear that release was necessary for emotional stability — especially in those with an excess of “heat” or desire.

So yes, masturbation was seen as a way to treat romantic despair in the Renaissance. The idea of jerking off so you don’t lose your mind over heartbreak? It’s right there in the old medical texts.

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In team sports, communication is everything.

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